Written Works Collection: Poetry
I am going to start posting more of my written works. I appreciate your feedback and I am open to any constructive criticism you want to give.
The Crying Soul
My crying soul is full of pain
For you have done it once again
Called yourself my friend
Then left me, just the same
Telling me you loved me
Yet your actions said contrary
I fell for your words of caring
How was I to know that you would betray me?
This was not the way to treat your soul mate
For you acted in such haste
Standing alone, with my heart broken up
I try to determine where to start
Trying to understand the why
What about the castles in the sky?
The person who had the most to give
Was the one you chose to set free
Flickr photo: WolfS♡ul's
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12 comments:
A poem grabs me when there is a distinct voice full of emotion and honesty. Your poem's voice is well defined and sympathetic. I look forward to reading more of your work. Well done!!
Hi, Ana. Since you write romantic suspense, I wanted to make sure you saw the contest I have on my blog right now. It's for romance writers. You can check it out at: http://lynnettelabelle.blogspot.com
Lynnette Labelle
Thank you, Lynnette, I will check it out.
Hey Ana, thanks for coming by Grace Talk. Love your poem, beautiful.
Sometimes, it is necessary to distance yourself from people who drag you down. Especially if you have just started seeking the Lord and the peace He gives us to live in. If you ask Him to put people in your life that will encourage you and lift you up, He will.
Looking forward to getting to know you better.
Thank you, Daveda, for your comment and for visiting.
Wow. Love the poem. Sad yet beautiful.
Sharing your work is a wonderful idea, Ana. I am so looking forward to reading more!
It takes a lot of courage to post your work online, doesn't it?
This is a lovely poem. I just wished it would burn more, it would scream more, because the pain that you convey is a great one, while your tone remains a little too distanced, I feel.
Lori - yes it does take courage but I decided that it is important to get feedback on what you write.
Thank you for your input. How do you think I can do what you suggest? Use different words?
I wished I knew, Ana. But each of us has different ways of expressing things, right? I would have made it more passionate, but maybe you feel your poem presents exactly the amount of emotion that you want to show. You know best and you are very good at what you do, so really, don't mind me.
Lori, thank you for your feedback, I like to learn and make my writing better. I like to know what others think about what I write, so I can learn from what they say.
Hi Ana...! It sounds more that how much u r in pain., Dont to worry ana.., Some people ll come to our life to realize us for some reason..!
Dont get upset, everything ll be freed soon.., wat u doing s good, get interact with people more.., ur soul ll definately relaxed.
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